so... yea i've been getting kinda depressed the last couple of days... yea.... cuz i realized something... that after everything... after all i've done..it's all been in vain... i've tried to change myself... be a better person... someone ppl will actually like... i've tried not to listen to what ppl say about me... tried to pretend like i didn't care... but now i realize... none of the even matters... becuz everything's just the same as it was b4... even though there were some good weeks/months or w/e.... nothing's chnaged. people still see me as the same fat... ugly.. w/e... only good for smartness... w/e person... and even though i tried to act like i didn't care... like i don't care what ppl think about me, it's what i think about myself and all that crap... i realized that i do... and i know they say ur not supposed to care about what ppl say... but i do. i'll admit it, i may care too much... but still.... i mean... sometimes i just sit and think... like one of the last days of school b4 exams... i just sat and looked around... and watched everyone socializing and shit... and i realized for the first time... how lonely i was... there's no one in the class..or anyone i know for that matter...who i really and truly honestly can say that i feel totally 200% comfortable with...i mean i have best freinds... and really good frenz, and i luv them all, i have fun with them and can talk to them and stuff... but even they don't know everything.... and the thing is... what got me even more sad... is to know while everyone has someone they miss - steph misses leon, dani misses domz, or someone they love, who loves them back, and actually cares - i have no one to miss, or anyone who misses me,, or love, or care, becuz i have no one.... i thought i did...i thought wrong... i have no one.. no one even cares... or gives a damn about me... maybe i should leave... so there'll be more space on this earth...